Anxiety at the gym

Anxiety. Its all about mind control. 

OMG everyone is looking at me! 

What if i cant do the exercise?

What if my bum sweat is on the seat?

Why are they looking at me?

What if i injure myself and have to go to hospital and everyone sees?

IF you havent said something like this when you walk in the gym, then your a confident gym bunny... and if you have then maybe you have a little bit of social anxiety in the gym?

All i know is i had bad anxieites when i started going to the gym. When i say bad i mean, id drive to the gym then id drive straight home, or id go in the gym and then go and hide and cry, i even once pretended i felt sick and just got my stuff and left.

Ive never been small and always loved food BUT a few years of my life lets say from 21-27 i had some very unpleasant relationships, a hard time finding myself and ultimatley just struggling with life. I turned to food as a comfort (many of us do) and over time just piled on the pounds without even realising. So once i decided to change my life, i felt like i had no idea what i was doing. ANXIETY STRUCK!

My weight always held me back. Socially, at work and in relationships. The experience in relationships i had broke me down and i ended up losing all my self worth, confidence and purpose. My friends and family were always my biggest support, but when your that far down in your mind, nothing can bring you up because you dont know why you're there. I suffered from bad skin conditions, lost my job and became ill because of the stress and anxiety which ultimately made everything a lot worse. It was a vicious cycle. stress...illness...food...weight gain...stress...illness...food... weightgain etc etc. Being bigger held me back because i had no confidence in myself which is the worst place to be.

However, i really dont regret or get upset from the past because it really has made me a stronger person today. Whatever path your on, whoever is in your life right now and whatever happens next, it can always be changed because as humans, we are very lucky to be able to manipulate our lives and make it the way we want it to be.

What made me anxious in the first place your probably thinking?

A BOY LOL.....The funny thing is, i had one comment when i was 10 years old where a boy at school said i had 'double knees' and i have never worn shorts or a dress above my knees for that reason. However, ive never had any nasty comments even when i was at my biggest, in fact the complete opposite. Sometimes you dont see what others see in you and thats always been my issue. After losing 4 stone last year, i actually had a comment when i was out and someone called me fat which did for a moment kick my confidence because after losing all that weight and for only now someone to comment on my appearance, i was completely confused. I also plucked up the courage to wear a shorter dress that evening, but i didnt feel comfortable and to get a comment like that was awful for me. For me, that comment as a young girl obviously stuck in my mind and as i grew up, relationships with boys were not too pleasant for me. Toxic relationships that made me feel selfless and worth nothing were a normal thing for me. Jealous men who didnt want me to have fun or have any friends, they just kept coming along.  I then realised that the only way i would ever be happy was to start loving myself and using everyday to make myself a better person. After the last episode of controlling, and manipoulative behaviour i decided enough was enough for me, either i stay single or wait until someone comes into my life who will support me, grow with me and bring out the best in me.  Without my friends and family though i would never had built up the confidence i have right now. Support is so important. After a few years i am still single and thank god for that becuase im really starting to love myself, YAY.

I met someone a few years ago who introduced me to the law of attraction, it's the one belief I fall back to every time that keeps me positive. Please please read this if you havent yet. I will never forget what my friend said to me when he gave it to me, 'if you can see it and believe it, then you can achieve it'. From that day forward and after completing this book, i now know why everything happens in my life. If its rubbish, i know why, if its good, i know why, its all about controlling your thoughts. You can make the rest of your life the best of your life.

What made me change my life a year ago?

I remember i completed my makeup artistry course in London and looked at some pictures and realised i was so unhappy everytime i looked in the mirror. When i was sitting in front of the mirror doing practical work for my course, i found it hard to look at myself without cringing. Travelling to london everyday, sweating on the tube and feeling so uncomfortable just got the best of me. Id look at instagram and other social media and be inspired by fitness models such as Tamra Dae and really wanted to believe i could be like that. In December 2015 i met one of my closest friends now and he encouraged me to go to the gym. He said he could help me and i could be whatever i wanted to be. It was wierd because people had said it to me before, but the fact that he was completely ripped and obviously knew what he was doing at the gym , gave me some hope. I wanted to be something that people thought id never be, but mainly i wanted to prove to myself that this was it, and this oppurtunity was too good. Funny enough one of best mates Danielle said to me a couple of months in, 'this time you're going to do it, ive got a feeling' and she was right. She was there for me through all the bad times and this time she knew i was serious and something in my mind had changed. A year later she is still saying ' i knew you would do it' and supporting me constantly. Im lucky that i have friends who have supported me the whole way through (minus the couple that have jealousy issues etc) that was expected.

My guy friend Jack, helped my get through my anxieties in the gym but also helped me believe in myself. A few months later i met my friend rachel (Bella) who has also been my rock for the last 7 months. We believe in eachother, we push eachother and we have become family. 

The gym: XERCISE4LESS(Milton Keynes)

The gym itself is big and also has a womans only section. I started off in that area because there was a max of 5 people in there everytime i went. This helped me get used to walking into the gym and the machines. Walking into the gym was probably the hardest thing for me back then, because it was like another world. I had one training session with a PT and that helped me with understanding what my body could do and where i wanted to go with this journey. I still talk to him now and he is amazed at my changes and dedication. I know a lot of the staff there now and everyone is always welcoming. I think the gym has everything i need and it set out really well for everyone. Xercise4less is a community and I have made so many friends there, I go there even when I'm stressed and walk out smiling.Xercise4less also has a great support network on thier app, website and social media sites. Currently they are running a competition which is great for motivation and gives you another reason to be a better you. FINGERS crossed i win and get to go to my dream destination ....NYC.

My goals now
I still have a few stone to drop in body fat, however i want to keep my shape and have been weight training since day one which has been perfect for me because i now love my shape. I want to lose the excess fat and tone up. Id love to inspire and show woman that anyone can do it. My goal this year is to inspire, lose more weight, tone up, see some abs and hopefully become a fitness model. I am a normal woman, i dont want to be that woman who looks different in the magazines or wants to be a size 6. I want to keep my womanly curves and i want to show the world that anyone can do this. I feel so much happier in myself now and things can only get better from here.

Anxiety at the gym can be a barrier but if you keep going and take day by day, workout by workout, soon it will dissapear. Dont get me wrong i still feel wierd in the gym sometimes, but nowhere near as bad as i was. Having a gym buddy or a few people you can go to the gym with, makes it so much easier.  Grab the girls, join together, go to some classes or get a PT session together. The more you try the easier it will be to find your prefered style of training.

TIPS TO HELP WITH GYM ANXIETY

Go with a friend...or 2

Try a couple of classes

Book a PT session

Wear headphones and focus on yourself

Breathe deeply before entering the gym

Go at quieter times to begin with

Talk to people if you need help (People love to help)

Make new friends

Set your goals.....then smash them (FOCUS IS KEY)

REMEMBER..... everyone is in their for themselves :) 

Ciao for now,

Bella

xxxxxxxxxxx

Me and jack as reindeers LOL

Me and Bella xxxxx

Makeup at the Gym

 Its not a fashion show, but it is a place where you should feel good and let's face it,  your making changes to be a better you!!! Do what makes you happy and comfortable. 

Ok, so i have had so many messages and questions from my introuction blog and im so thankful for all the compliments and encouragement to keep going. So thats exactly what im going to do, this year i want to inspire and help people to achieve their goals. By blogging my experiences with my weightloss and confidence journey, i hope to show everyone that its easier than you think and possible for anyone.  Everyones story is different and noone can tell you that its going to be easy BUT i can tell you thats anything is possible if you can believe it then you can achieve it.

So this Blog is about wearing makeup at the gym. Why? Because ive had a few people asking me as a makeup artist, do i wear makeup at the gym? ... ERM the answer is YES haha. Not because im a makeup aritst, because technically that means i apply makeup to others, but because its what i like to do and it makes me feel more energised, confident and just more me. If i was to wear no makeup, my face would look like a bit of paper next to my body ( i love a bit of fake tan when i havent been on holiday).

I am human afterall,and i do what makes me happy. Dont get me wrong, that has taken me approximately 28 years of my life to do, but i now do what makes me happy, confident and comfortable.

So heres what makeup i wear to the gym:
Bare minerals Complexion rescue

Hydrating tinted moisturiser - doesnt clog your pores and evens out skin tone.

Bare minerals Bare pro foundation
Light weight and full coverage. 

 Max factor Waterpoof Mascara (noone wants to look like a panda)

 Anastaia Beverley Hills Bronzer and Dip brow pomade
 Natural and easy to use.

So not an awful lot of makeup there, but its enough just to give me a fresh and natural look whilst working out. Now, because i mainly do weights in my workouts i dont sweat an awful lot, this means i dont walk out looking like a drowned rat. However, when i do cardio, i do. But i still wear the same makeup everytime i go. I find that the mineral based complextion products stay on my skin and do not go patchy once i have been sweating.  A good waterproof mascara will not run down your face and your eyebrows, well be prepared for a few smudges here and there lol. 

As long as your cleansing, toning and mousturising after your workout then you should not experience any issues. When i first started training, i did have sweat rashes, now thats not from makeup but my body and skin adjusting to temperature changes and excess sweat. Exfoliating twice a week removes excess dead skin cells and lets my skin renew itself. A good skin routine is always advised. My skin care routine is very simple, i use Liz earle cleanse and polish, Tonic and superskin moustirusier. I exfoliate with the Liz earle exfoliator twice a week and use the clay mask twice a week also. 

Wearing makeup to the gym is a personal preference. I wear makeup to the gym because that's what i want to do, so with that being said girls my answer to your question 'can i wear makeup to the gym?' is YES of course your can. Choose products that are mineral based and dont wear too much just because you dont want to be covered in makeup at the end of your session. Keep is simple, natural and make sure your skincare routine is on point. BUT, if you choose not to wear makeup then again still keep on top of your skincare routine because the sweat will affect your skin regardless.

I think thats all for now, and my next blog will be up shortly on ANXIETY at the gym. Thats going to be a long one and i cant wait to share it with you.

Ciao for now,

Bella

xxxxxx

From the beginning...

So this is my first blog post about my journey through weightloss and fitness. A few friends have told me that i should do this and i thought 'oh why not lets give it a shot'. Although primarily im going to share with you my experience of weightloss and fitness, i will be posting blogs that have connections to other topics such as confidence building, anxiety, injuries etc

My weightloss journey begun many years ago, because i have always struggled with my body weight, self confidence and food related issues. But, just over a year ago i began view my weightloss issues and my fitness goals from a different perspective. An old friend once said to me 'you are unique, this is your life Vikki, set your goals and smash them'. So on 1st January 2016 i decided i had to do something for myself and the one thing i had always wanted was to be happy in my body, because let's face it, we only get one to live in. The same friend who told me that also introduced me to 'The secret' and the law of attraction about 2 years ago. I wont go into it now but it really has changed my way of thinking. http://www.thesecret.tv/ - check this website out if your intrigued.

My mindset before my journey began was 'i cant', 'but ive failed before','whats going to be different this time?', 'i like food too much' etc etc. But something this time did change, i had a new support system and i had been broken down too many times that i actually found comfort in doing something just for myself. Since joining the gym i have made a ton of friends who support me, show me new workouts, encourage and understand me. Sometimes, going out of your comfort zone and just listening is one of the best things you can do. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER..i really belive that. But its how you use that knowledge that is important. 

Now dont get me wrong, this is probably been one of the hardest years of my life so far. Overcoming anxiety in the gym, not binging on everything i can get my hands on, changing jobs twice, having relationship and personal issues arise and generally dealing with life has been so tough. But that switch in my mindset has literally saved me, and everytime i get a knock, i bounce back now like an olympic trampolinist.

So far on my journey i have lost 4 stone, dropped 2 dress sizes and gained a whole load of confidence. Now, you might be wondering why ive only dropped 2 dress sizes? Well the thing is, i began to actually really like my shape and i didnt want to lose it. So i focussed on weight training and building muscle in the areas that my fat was coming off. Weight training has made me stronger, more toned and kept my womaly curves. My goal this year is to lose a few more stone and build a beautiful body. 

If anything, the best feeling is seeing change. Its my motivation. Ive added some photos at the bottom to show you my transformation, taking pictures really helps to stay motivated also.

You also might be wondering why this blog is called 'Bellas Journey'...well its a funny story really. I joined the gym around August 2015, however i didnt start going until January 2016. I trained with my new friend for a few months until a met another new friend. This friend in particular, works in the starbucks i go to in the mornings. She has previously said to me that she thinks im beautiful and we started to talking more often. In the July of 2016 i was in the gym and bumped into the starbucks lady, and we decided that one day we would train together. Since then, me and her have become not just friends, but family. On one occasion, i was telling her i wanted to learn a different language and we started saying 'ciao bella' everytime we left each other. The result of that conversation has meant we call eachother Bella, sometimes i forget her real name. Even other gym goers call us Bella and even my parents call her Bella. So thats the reason ive called this blog 'Bellas journey', i am Bella, and guess what Bella means? Yep, you got it 'Beautiful'. We are all beautiful in our own ways and this journey has taken me down a pathway of self love and discovery. 

So thats an introduction to my story, and i will be blogging regulary with different parts of my journey and also some good links and tools you can use if your looking to choose a fitness journey this year. 

Ciao for now, 

Bella xxxxxx